Harrod is tall. He must be all of nine feet or so, and that night from my vantage point in bed, he appeared very tall indeed. When someone as tall as Harrod gets hammered, he whips in the wind like a too-tall gumby or a whip antenna. It was Harrod's night to get weird and flexible. He was so close to my face with the camcorder several times that I could hear the soft whirring of the autofocus over the din of the equally mad crazies, Joanne, Philo, and Ron, laughing uproariously at Harrod's antics. The lens would rests for a moment on the tip of my nose, then be gone as Harrod pivoted, swirled, and rocked on his tequila-lubricated hip bone. Doing a sort of torso twist, he rocked like a crane above a city, happy as a lark and shouting 'Don't YOU JUST FUCKING LOVE IT, RONNIE?' whereupon he climbed in bed with Marble and me and we all laughed and drank and swore vengeance on Bambi come morning.

Then in came Charles to give us the low-down on the injustice of bed distribution between the women, insofar as his girl Natalie not getting a bed when Kathleen did. It was all the more madness, Harrod of course getting the whole thing on videocam. Poor Charles spun himself out and joined in the drinking. And somewhere in the shouting over deer and bed-divvying, a half a bottle of tequila disappeared and Harrod swayed ever-more precariously like the high horse on the Coltmobile, a very tall man bending like a toon.

I had a dream that night. Harrod, Ron, Mr. & Mrs. Northrup and I sailed outward through space to some parallel world where all cars were art cars and we were the mad monarchs of the mode. We drove in my dream across Milky Way highways of Comets and Dusters and Quasars where Dennis Hopper sat atop a deep-space chopper blowing by Richard Bach's biplane in the carpool air-corridor fast lane to the McDonald's on Romulon 4, 27 Gagillion served! It was Planet Art Car with Harrod Blank as Undisputed King of the Wild Wheels Anti-world. Here, police dressed in the Mardi Gras garb of car artist Chuck Alston from the "Wild Wheels" film, and Chuck was himself their chief, piloting a born-again Cosmic Ray Deflection Car and giving tickets to anyone caught driving a normal, boring car.

"But no! Wait! This cannot be! A world where everyone is weird like me. I would not, could not have this be, that everyone drive identically! We're artists! Madmen! Not graffiti gods! God forbid we become fashionable, too! Eek! Eek! It's the plight of the Star-belly Sneetches all over again! I have erred! How absurd! In a world where everyone drove a car like Duke, I should have to go normal, I should have to puke."

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Last update April 1, 2004